I, Myself, and my mind……

An uneasy feeling turns into suspicion that led to sadness and eventually will start to get angry. Most often than not, this is me. A man who creates his own nightmare. A man who creates his own bogeyman at night. A man who losses himself when emotion goes up into his head. A guy who has this emotional insecurity.

I’ve tried my best to control myself, but in the end its just another failed attempt. Its not that I don’t trust, its more of a “What if someone better than me comes”,” What if I can no longer make her happy and someone else does”, ” What if I am the opposite of what she likes”, ” What if i cannot give all she wanted”, ” What if she didn’t like the way I acted”, “What if she realized that she no longer loves me”, “What if I lose her” ?

 

What if…what if…what if….

Everything is running in my head. I don’t want to think these kind of things………. It makes me crazy…..I don’t want to lose her. She is THAT important to me.

What should I do?  These “What ifs” will tore us apart.  I don’t want these F ifs to break us….

 

Dear Lord,

Please help me clear my mind. Please guide me to the right path where i should walk. Your guidance will help me get back to myself. I already lose a lot, and I don’t want to lose anymore especially “HER” who means a lot to me.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_insecurity

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jealousy

 

First Part of Special Assignment……

Just a few more days to go and march will end. And yet, still don’t have plans for the rest of the year. how sad

Like an organizer, I will list 50 things that i want, i should, and will do before the end of the year. This may be a little late, but still we have at least 9 month left! Now, i need stay online at least once a day just to remind me about my “SPECIAL MISSION”. And yes, I am very much excited! LMAO, this is my first time to do this and hopefully I will be able to continue this for the coming more years!

Here is my list of to-do things (1st part):

SPECIAL MISSION:

Hop-in! Hopping!Walking! Running! Gimik habang bata!

1. Out of town with GOW AND REYES FAMILY

2. Summer getaway with friends!! (pwede nmn post summer getaway)

3. Singa-singa-singapore!!

4. Attend at least 1 UAAP Game (GO FIGHT TAMARAWS)

5. Organize a mini get together (College friends/ MPMBs)

Depreciated,Appreciated. New things

6. Buy myself a wallet

7. New set of shirts aren’t bad either

8. Retire my good ol’ slipper

9. New bag wouldn’t be so bad either

Special for Special people

10. Buy a cake on ( anniversary of my father and mother, Bday of my father, mother, and sister) of course including Yahooo!!!

11. Special Gift for my tabz’ beeeerrrttddeeeeiiiii 🙂

12. Visit my grandpa and grandma’s you know…

Healthy Lucky me! with NAPA!

13. Finally enroll myself to a boxing lesson

14. 1 full month of not drinking soda!! aarrgghh

15. Successfully survive a month without eating chicharon

16. Eating my best bud “Ampalaya” (0/12)

17. Run for a cause (0/2)

Mixing, Fixing, Breaking, anything, nothing

18. Arrange the layout of my wordpress.

19. Arrange and maintain my office drawer

20. learn to wash clothes

21. learn how to cook my favorite kare-kare

Personal, personal, personal

22. Save Php 500 every cut off.

23. Post a blog at least once a week.

24. One big bang project

25. One month of without Leave and tardy. Yikes!

26. Ensure that everything in here will be done or the world will end.. 2012. lol?

Then second part will be released after Holy week. (reflection time)

Good luck to me!